I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
