11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
