At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
