I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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