I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
