Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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