Umm I'm too high to move.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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