singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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