Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
handjob tips. give me some.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
