I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
