Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
