Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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