she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
