so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
