So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
