So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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