I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
