there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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