i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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