I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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