i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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