last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
