So drunk its hurt
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
