He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
