Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
