youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
