i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think a kid would responsible me up
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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