Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
