im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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