pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
