I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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