Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
dude. I can hear the air.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
