Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
No more Irish car bombs ever.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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