Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
