I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
