Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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