hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
