Will you blow on my dice?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
