If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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