If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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