he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
