I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
