Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
