I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
