I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
