check it out our google latitudes are spooning
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
