i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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