Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So drunk its hurt
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
