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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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