i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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