When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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